By Sentuileth Selathriem, courtesy of Not-Arwen.Net.

 

1. She's too perfect.

2. She's unrealistic.

3. She keeps being compared to Lúthien; she is nothing like Lúthien.

4. She usurps Glorfindel and steals Asfaloth.

5. She's a coward. As soon as she sees those Ringwraiths she looks terrified.

6. She is a gold-digger. She was never interested in Aragorn until he told her he was going to be made king.

7. Her scorning of mortal men and women. Would anyone like the idea of their queen believing them to be wicked fools?

8. She is a tart with pointy ears. All of her movie costumes are so low cut it doesn't leave much to the imagination.

9. When she realises the reality of her choice, she runs away at her father's prompting.

10. That dreadful forced ethereal voice.

11. She abandons her children and goes off to Lórien to mope after Aragorn dies.

12. She is incestuous. Aragorn is not only her cousin by blood, but also her adopted brother.

13. She won't go to Valinor to see her Orc-raped mother Celebrían.

14. She snaps at Aragorn when they first meet, because he mistakes her for Lúthien.

15. Book!Arwen is the epitaph of boredom. She has no personality, and sits pretty waiting to get married.

16. Her talents do not go beyond the art of sewing banners.

17. The Evilstar. It looks like a piece of plastic out of a fifty pence toy machine.

18. She reminds me too much of a high school trendie. It's the posy-posy, look-at-me-look-at-me attitude.

19. Her doll is hideous! It looks like Mr. Spock dressed in drag.

20. Her WETA "Bust" looks like it is severely constipated or has Down Syndrome.

21. She moans and complains to Aragorn on his deathbed, so Aragorn spends his last hours comforting her.

22. Liv Tyler fails to remain in character during photo shoots. She doesn't look like Arwen, she looks like Liv Tyler in a Mediaeval dress.

23. The real reason why she gave Aragorn that evenstar thing was so that she could watch his every move and make sure she puts him off falling in love with anyone else by mysteriously appearing in his dreams.

24. Arwen merchandise is the queen of tack.

25. The Arwen action figure looks like an orc in a dress (or was that because the makers were being realistic?).

26. The Noble Collection evenstar looks like a uterus.

27. Only Arwen could be tacky enough to be made into a furby.

28. Arwen attracts the pathetic-ness that is the fanbrat.

29. She makes Aragorn wait thirty years before she decides she wants to marry him.

30. She has some of the most corny lines in the movie script.

31. Arwenite scriptwriter Fran Walsh was obviously dissatisfied even with the most pointless extra Arwen scene that she suggested Arwen shows up at the battle of Helm's Deep and-- wait for it….

32. Slays the Witch King instead of Eowyn! Then, not only would she have stolen Glorfindel's role, but Eowyn's as well.

33. "Arwen's fate is tied to the ring". WTF?

34. That dress! Not the purple dressss, preciousss, it burnssss.

35. The key lime pie dress. Owww! My eyes, my eyes!

36. The wedding coronet. She looked like she had spider web on her head.

37. The make up artists made her look like a beached whale on her wedding day.

38. All of Arwen's dresses in ROTK are exactly the same, only in different colours. Did she buy them in a multipack from Asda?

39. The patheticness and clichédness of XenArwen….

40. She only ever cries out of one eye.

41. The unstableness of her personality-- one minute she's running into action armed with a sword to rescue a defenceless Hobbit, the next minute she's sitting pretty, sewing and reading.

42. She lazes around in her beautiful palace while everyone else is out giving life and limb in battle to save Middle Earth from Sauron and his minions….

43. Time is running out for Frodo when in comes XenArwen. Instead of immediately picking up the immobile Hobbit and dashing off back to Rivendell, Arwen trades valuable escaping time for flirting with Aragorn.

44. She didn't get the idea of mortality=death until she was on her deathbed.

45. She gets to sing a song about herself that was meant to be used in yet another pointless Arwen scene. Not only that….

46. It was instead used in the HOH for Eowyn and Faramir! What torturous irony….

47. She is a spoilt brat who has no idea what it is like to live in the real world-- unlike Eowyn.

48. The cut script for Arwen's Scene at Helm's deep is one of the corniest pieces of script writing I have ever had the misfortune to read.

49. Giving Arwen a sword is attempting to rewrite the history of Tolkien's Middle Earth.

50. Why does she have to put the stupid sword against Aragorn's throat? If she truly loved him, why would she almost kill him? One false move could result in Aragorn's throat being cut.

51. In the movies, she became Peter Jackson's very own "Mary Sue".

52. She shouts at Elrond "You saw my son!" if Elrond has the gift of Foresight, of course he would have seen a child, because man+woman=baby. Of course dopey Arwen doesn't have a clue.

53. She has Elves, Men and Hobbits bow to her when she is crowned Queen, while Aragorn says ‘you bow to no one'.

54. She seems reluctant to bow to Frodo and his companions in the coronation scene.

55. She is cold, not Eowyn.

56. She is selfish.

57. She lived a sheltered life for thousands of years. Can't have very good social skills.

58. Her love for Aragorn was conditional. Aragorn has to be a king to deserve her. She certainly has her nose in the air.

59. She chooses to stay at Edoras while Aragorn takes her father, brothers, and the rest of her family away to the Grey Havens, where she will never see them again. Why doesn't she see them off?

60. When Aragorn dies, Arwen does not ask him to stay for a while because she loves him, it is only because she doesn't want to die herself.

61. When Aragorn is dying, she doesn't think of him in his hour of suffering, she only thinks of herself.

62. Rather than mourning Aragorn's death, she mourns her own mortal life, a life that she has chosen.

63. Arwen is supposed to be a symbol of hope. It seems ironic that she abandons her family, friends and loved ones and dies alone.

64. She is weak. Afraid to leave behind her comfortably secure life.

65. She both pities and scorns mortals. I wonder how Aragorn felt to be told that on his deathbed, that his beloved wife had a dislike towards his own people?

66. Movie!Arwen suddenly feels the need to be a poet. This might have been nice somehow, if she was any good at it.

67. All the best music in the soundtracks are wasted on unneeded Arwen scenes.  .

68. The "Kiss of life" scene. What a pointless scene to waste good music on.  It's Casualty, Middle-Earth style.

69. She orders Elrond to have Narsil reforged.  .

70. In the "walking up to Frodo like an angel" scene, she does not walk like an angel. Instead, she walks like JarJar Binks.

71. She's immature and childish.

72. She's a drama queen.

73. She's too clingy.

74. She is deceptive. She keeps her true intentions hidden.

75. She gets all teary when Frodo passes out. She doesn't even know Frodo or that he has the Ring. She's only known him for a matter of fifteen minutes.

76. She has too much screen time.

77. Why does she have to keep wearing those ridiculous hooded cloaks, with the hoods up? Honestly, is she auditioning for a tenth Ringwraith?

78. All that pathetic magic she starts weaving to make the river drown the Ringwraiths. She doesn't even have magic.

79. She usurps the roles of both her father and Gandalf at the ford.

80. In some of her promo photo shoots, she looks like a vampire.  .

81. She has the cheek to think she's better than Aragorn at horse riding….

82. and tell him.

83. She looks no more than twelve years old when she waves Aragorn off as she sets out with the Fellowship.

84. Tolkien never intended for Arwen to be an elven bimbo--  but that's what she ended up as.

85. Elves are supposed to walk around barefoot. So what on middle Earth was Arwen thinking wearing those lime green moon boots on her wedding day?

86. Aragorn's time healing Eowyn was disrupted by his thoughts of Arwen , who was supposedly dying because she was tied to the Ring.

87. The drawing of the storyboard involving Arwen at Helm's Deep made her look like Felix the Cat in mediaeval Armour.

88. She puts on these ridiculous blubbery expressions when she's talking to Aragorn. It makes her look like a goldfish.

89. what is so important about her giving up her immortality?  She didn't have to plead with Mandos himself to make this choice, unlike Lúthien.

90. She banters on and on about all this hope there is in the world, but when it really comes to it, she is hopeless.

91. In the healing Frodo with Athelas scene, how does Arwen manage to get blonde streaks in her hair? Was she trying to copy Eowyn?

92. In the photo shoots, Liv Tyler does the silly posy scene with the sword. She looks like she's about to chop her nose off.

93. it appears that her people don't like her either. When she runs away from the party setting off for Valinor, why does no other elf (especially Figwit) chase after her and persuade her to continue, or even notice that she's gone?

94. The fact that she returns to Rivendell in the movies. I was so gutted in having to deal with yet more Arwen scenes. She should have carried right on across the ocean.

95. She contradicts herself when she says ‘"It is mine to give to whom I will, like my heart". She never gave her heart to Aragorn, she gave it to the idea of being  a Queen.

96. They way she puts on these puppy dog expressions when she is talking to Elrond.

97. The way she puts on all the forced expressions in general.

98. The entire way Liv Tyler plays Arwen is forced. It is not natural.

99. All that time she spends daydreaming must be bad for her health.

100. After being alive for 2,000 years, you would think that Arwen would have gained some life experience. She hasn't. She just behaves like a lovesick teenager.

101. Because she is Arwen!